We all know the word “NO”.
No is often a child’s first word, a parents most used word, and a relationships final word.
What is the first thing that comes to mind when someone tells you “NO”? For me it’s: “WHY? Why can’t I do what I want? Why don’t you agree with my opinion?”
“No” doesn’t have to be negative.
The truth is we need more people in our lives that will tell us no. We won’t always like it. OK, we’ll probably never like it, but we do need it.
A few months back I had a grand idea, it was going to launch a business. I put together a business plan, started researching local competition, building the brand and identity in my mind. Then I made the pitch to the boss – my wife.
It wasn’t a large investment I was looking for, I calculated I needed roughly $500 to get everything rolling. I knew we had the cash in saving to do it and I had faith that I would be able to replenish all the initial investment with dividends.
Well, needless to say, my wife said “no” to my sales pitch.
She used more and kinder words, but the end result still equaled those two letters – NO. And guess what, she was right. It wasn’t the right time to invest monetarily. This rejection lead to new and creative opportunities to continue working on my dream. When you cannot solve a problem with money you must become creative; resourcefulness solves problems through innovation and creativity. A few weeks after that conversation with my wife, I actually was able to look back at the situation and admit “she was right”. I was forced to reevaluate my plan and come up with a more resourceful means of pursuing the vision I have for my life.
When you have people in your life who will tell you an honest, validated “NO” they do 3 things for you:
1. It keeps you hungry
It’s good to be hungry, it keeps you focused and driven. While physical hunger can leave you weak and unclear in thought; mental hunger strengthens your resolve and keeps you focused. The innovators and history makers have always been those who can sustain a hunger to grow in their craft. Your hunger is contagious; when you go to work hungry it forces those around you to stay hungry or be consumed.
[tweetthis remove_hidden_urls=”true”] Hearing “NO” keeps you hungry for the right process[/tweetthis]
2. It keeps you Honest
If all you hear is “YES” you can drift away from purpose. You’ve worked hard to outline your mission, vision, and strategy, don’t become distracted by the clamor of your own success. I often have great ideas, but rarely are they right ideas for me because they don’t match who I am and what my purpose in this life is to be.
If I tried to become a hip-hop artist I would be labeled a poser, because that’s not me. I can appreciate hip-hop, but that’s not my DNA. Musically, I love Blues and 90’s Rock, that’s who I am. I will occasionally mix in different genres but that’s not the norm.
In life, and music, you have to be honest to your DNA. The thing in your heart that brings you satisfaction when you do it, that’s purpose. Don’t let a hobby distract you from purpose.
[tweetthis remove_hidden_urls=”true”]Hearing “NO” keeps you honest to your passion[/tweetthis]
3. It makes yes more valuable
Whatever you have in excess decreases in value. Think about something you have a lot of . . . You can probably place whatever it is you are thinking of into 3 categories: Time – Ability – Money.
a. When we have an abundance of time, it becomes wasted. Just look at the weekend, how many times Monday through Friday do you binge watch Netflix™? Our weekdays have assigned value. We are told “NO” by our obligations and are able to provide for ourselves and families because of it.
b. Have you ever looked at someone and wished you had their abilities? Maybe you have dreamed of what you would do if you were Stephen Curry?
Guess what, you have skills; maybe not basketball skills, but real, valuable skills.
c. Money is often the tough one. We see others with more than what we have and become envious, dreaming of all we would do if we had their money. I will ask this question: “How much of your dreaming is allocated to your purpose?”
Take the time that you have in excess and use it to develop the skills you have. As you hone your skills, becoming better and better, you will begin to hear more “YES’s” and less “NO’s” in relation to your purpose.
If you are a store manager, how much of your time is spend becoming the best manager you could be? Who are you following, reading, and watching that excels in your field? Where are you spending that “discretionary” money? The percentage (Time, Ability, Money) you invest into your purpose will determine the value of the product you produced.
Whatever you chose not to allocate someone else will.
When people have the freedom to say yes or no they gain buy-in and build trust in the culture. So value every “YES” and use every “NO” as fuel. When you hear “NO” know that it is not a rejection of you. People aren’t saying “NO” to you, they are saying “NO, that specific idea or plan doesn’t match up with you”. When you identify who you are and the purpose you are made to accomplish the people around you will begin to say “YES”.
[tweetthis remove_hidden_urls=”true”]Hearing “NO” make hearing yes even sweeter[/tweetthis]
Bonus:
- When you hear “NO” you are forced to evaluate if the question being asked, job being pursued, or dream being chased is worth further rejection, struggle, time, and resources.
- If your switch is naturally set to “NO” you now have 3 reasons to say “NO” appropriately.
- Has there been a time when you have been told “NO” that has helped you avoid a mistake?
- Do you have any other reasons why it is good to hear “NO”?
- Scroll down, leave a comment below and share your experience.