My journey to sobriety

On May 16, 2015, I got married. I’m sure that may be a surprise to some and others a needless trivia fact of my life, but I want to share a story that has forever effected my life. That Saturday in May was a high point of my life.

Marriage. What a glorious experience.

We left our wedding reception and headed off to start our new life together on a 7 day cruise to the Bahamas.

Which on a side note if you ever get the chance to go on a cruise, I highly recommend it. I think it might be the only way my wife now wants to vacation, ha-ha.

Okay, back to the point.

We set sail and needless to say had an amazing vacation, a time of relaxing and just enjoying each other with no stress nor worry of the responsibilities awaiting us upon return.

I feel the need to give a little of my life’s back story. I started experimenting with alcohol around 16  and then continued to increase how much I drank as the years went on. At 21 I joined the U.S. Air Force and moved away from my family – no one knew my story in the Air Force. It was a clean slate, no one held any preconceived notions of who I was, or was not. I continued to drink and party and my faith waned. My beliefs remained, but not my convictions.

Over the course of 10 years, to no fault of anyone or thing besides myself, I hurt people.

That was the hardest part for me through that period of time, I don’t like to hurt others. After my first marriage failed and divorce was filed, then finalized, I fell back on what I had developed as my escape. Alcohol. Not Christ, not my religious beliefs, not my family, but that which I had established in my life as the means of cooping and release. Over the course of 10 months my life crumbled and darkened.

Without the presence of hope all that is left is despairDepression is a very dark and lonely place. I am ever grateful for family and true friends who stood alongside of me during that time. They loved and encouraged me, while never sugar-coating the situation and always speaking truth into my life.

By God’s grace I came out the other-side of the dark valley.As I began to restore my relationship with God; my relationship with alcohol inversely began to decrease. I went from a 750ml bottle of scotch a day to a beer or two once a month. Maybe an old-fashioned occasionally with dinner while at a restaurant. And I was proud of what I had accomplished.

Ah, The Bahamas – Clear, warm skies and bluest of waters.

We arrived at Freeport (Main Bahama Island), Bahamas for one of our day excursions. From the port we hopped on a bus and were driven across the island, which only took about 20 minutes. Our driver (Jacques) was local to the island and a great character, he pointed out different landmarks and unique information about his home as we drove down the left lane of the two lane road which runs from island end to end. He pointed out that there were a large number of churches, predominately Baptist, on the island. And we saw most of them. Then he pointed out the liqueur stores, Wine & Spirits, how they  were just as frequent as the churches. Then Jacques said something, something I wasn’t expecting. Jacques proceeded to tell us how Bahamians love to have fun, party, and drink. He told us how every night they drank and partied – living life without worry or regret. Without skipping a beat, Jacques explained why there were so many churches on this relatively small island and the relationship they have with the liquor stores. Every Sunday we [Bahamians] go to church to have the spirit cast out. Then after church we stop at the “wine & spirit” and pick it [spirit] back up.

“WE ALWAYS HAVE THE SPIRIT WITH US.”

I was on my honeymoon, sure we did a daily devotional in the morning and prayed over our meals, but I wasn’t expecting to have this huge life moment. Especially a convicting word from the Holy Spirit about how I was living my life.

It became a turning point in my life.

As a family, we hadn’t made a hard line on drinking. We had been toying with the idea of sobriety, while continuing to occasionally drinking. A glass of wine with a dinner here, a beer there, and so on. Listening to culture, principally Christian culture, and hearing the reasons it’s acceptable to drink occasionally. We had stopped drinking, then had a drink on New Years. Then we stopped drinking, until we went to a wedding that had alcohol. Then we stopped drinking, unless we wanted to drink.

It’s okay, as long as you are in control.

That’s what I thought – I needed to be in control. But if I have proven anything over the last 32 years, it is that I am bad at being in control. Yet I want to control.

You are never in control.

The draw is the danger. I love watching Animal Planet and all those shows where people go and encounter wild animals in their natural habitat, with nothing between them and the animals. The shows host, usually and expert, of some kind, concerning animals, always tells us how aggressive or dangerous an animal is. Like snakes, these guys are always grabbing big, fast, poisonous snakes by the tale! They actively dodge ‘strikes’ while telling us about them and what would happen if bitten. It’s exciting. And even if you do everything right, even if the snake seems calm, you still aren’t safe from danger.

Why?

Because that which is wild remains wild. As true a fact this is in the natural it is more so in the spiritual. A predator solely seeks the opportunity to exploit prey.

There is an actual spirit attached to alcohol – his name is Bacchus.

The Romans, Greeks and Italians all worshiped him as one of their gods. They had “these infamous celebrations, notorious for their sexual and criminal character, got so out of hand that they were forbidden by the Roman Senate in 186 BCE.” (Bacchus)

For more information on this and further research on alcoholic wine verses non-alcoholic wine, Bacchus, and the stance God takes on it check out some of the writings my friend John Muncy has done here.

The World accepts the supernatural. It is embraced unilaterally across the world. Yet, I feel we have marginalized it in the church. We talk about God, believe in Jesus, and pass over the Holy Spirit. We have denied that the Devil has rule over this world (2 Corinthians 4:4), moving about as a lion seeking whomever he can devour. (1 Peter 5:8)

I am not saying that alcohol is evil, just like I wouldn’t say that money is evil. But the Bible tells us that both provide opportunity for demonic spirits to gain access to our lives; with money it is mammon (Matthew 6:24), with alcohol it is Bacchus. (Galatians 5:17)

I remember a while back I went to see some friends who have a band perform at a local Irish pub. My fiance at the time, now wife, and I showed up a little early to try to get some food, say hello to the band, and claim a good spot to watch the performance. As I walked in I was greeted by a familiar feeling, I had been in this environment before. Teresa went to find the restroom so I leaned against a wall in the bar area and began to observe. I love to watch people.

You can learn so much just by stopping and watching.

The room was poorly lit. People gathered around the bar and ordered their preferred drinks, whilst holding small-chat with others around them. As I scanned the room, I saw others playing games of pool, others were sitting at tables. I mentioned that it was a familiar feeling in the bar, yet this time it was different. I was different. I had become more spiritually aware, my faith and relationship with God had matured and grown. I began to see how sad people looked. There was a heavy feeling in the air; a weight on peoples faces. I could physically sense the spiritual oppression just hoovering in the air.

I had a soda that night.

As I’ve moved closer to God there are areas of my life that have changed. I’ve laid personal desires down in order to grow spiritually. And that has been huge. Now after these sacrifices I do not feel like I have been missing anything. Earlier in my life I felt like if I lived my life the way the preacher was telling me, or even the way I read in the Bible I would be missing out on the good things of life. Yet I’ve found that all I’ve been experiencing is temporal and fleeting, never satisfying, and always expensive. The truth is that when I give up selfish pleasure to obey God I always gain joy. When I sacrifice personal want for divine purpose I always receive fulfillment.

I never found lasting joy or fulfillment at the bottom of a bottle.

After the buzz wore off, nothing had changed. I was not happier, my relationships were not fixed, my worries were not gone. Proverbs 20:1 says it like this: “Wine produces mockers; alcohol leads to brawls. Those led astray by drink cannot be wise.” Ephesians 5:18 says, “Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit…” How true these words have rung true in my life.

Areas of liberty we take in our lives have the potential to limit the amount which God is able to use us. Those areas we justify to appease our carnal wants and desires become more than harmless vices.

1 Corinthians 10:14-33 (NLT)

20 No, not at all. I am saying that these sacrifices are offered to demons, not to God. And I don’t want you to participate with demons. 21 You cannot drink from the cup of the Lord and from the cup of demons, too. You cannot eat at the Lord’s Table and at the table of demons, too. 22 What? Do we dare to rouse the Lord’s jealousy? Do you think we are stronger than he is? 23 You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial. 24 Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others. 25 So you may eat any meat that is sold in the marketplace without raising questions of conscience. 26 For “the earth is the lord’s, and everything in it.” 27 If someone who isn’t a believer asks you home for dinner, accept the invitation if you want to. Eat whatever is offered to you without raising questions of conscience. 28 (But suppose someone tells you, “This meat was offered to an idol.” Don’t eat it, out of consideration for the conscience of the one who told you. 29 It might not be a matter of conscience for you, but it is for the other person.) For why should my freedom be limited by what someone else thinks? 30 If I can thank God for the food and enjoy it, why should I be condemned for eating it? 31 So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 32 Don’t give offense to Jews or Gentiles or the church of God. 33 I, too, try to please everyone in everything I do. I don’t just do what is best for me; I do what is best for others so that many may be saved.

Relabeling sin with a nicer sounding name does not lessen the sin. Placing alcoholism in the category of a disease is first inaccurate and second absurd. To categorize selfishness and lack of discipline as a disease is crazy. Now drinking alcohol can lead to disease: depression, Liver disease, digestive problems, heart problems, diabetes, erectile dysfunction in men and interrupt menstruation in women, eye problems, birth defects bone loss, neurological complications, weakened immune system, and an increased risk of cancer. (MayoClinc) Alcohol in itself is not a disease.

IF ALCOHOLISM IS A DISEASE…

It is the only disease that is habit forming
It is the only disease that promotes crime
It is the only disease that is bottled and sold
It is the only disease that is spread by advertising
It is the only disease that requires outlets for its sale
It is the only disease that brings death on the highways
It is the only disease that is contracted by an act of will
It is the only disease that requires a license for its distribution
It is the only disease that produces revenue for the government
It is the only disease that people are fined and imprisoned when they exhibit its symptoms
It is the only disease that has no bacterial or viral cause and no corrective medicine
It is the only disease that bars its patients from Heaven

~John Muncy

The reason it is so difficult to not drink is we’ve believed a lie. It’s not just another beverage, It’s not a natural process, and it is not condoned in the Bible. While culture accepts alcohol, it is also acknowledged as dangerous. It is taxed and regulated. Sale is restricted until one is deemed mature enough to handle the dangers and affects of consumption. The Surgeon General issues warning. A glass a day is not good for you. A glass a day inches the door of your soul open to the devil and provides a means by which to insert havoc, chaos, pain, confusion, and strife into your life.

If I lie to myself and choose the spirit of Bacchus, over the Spirit of God, I deny the opportunity to achieve true happiness, lasing joy, and divine fulfillment.

My wife and I have chosen to lay that area of our life, both physically and spiritual, on the alter before God. To afford the Holy Spirit the first priority in our lives. My hope in sharing this story is to lead you to think and question if there is an area in your life that is hindering God from performing His divine will in your life.

references:

“Bacchus.” Encyclopedia Mythica from Encyclopedia Mythica Online.
<http://www.pantheon.org/articles/b/bacchus.html>
[Accessed June 25, 2015].

“Alcoholism: Complications” Mayo Clinic online.

<http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alcoholism/basics/complications/con-20020866> [Accessed July 1, 2015]

Habakkuk 2:15

Isaiah 5:11-14

Romans 14:17

Proverbs 23

Isaiah 28:7-8

Isaiah 65:8